As we approach the end of the semester, my focus has been on the white paper project. For a preliminary topic or direction for the paper, I want to do something on the topic of flow state. I’ve been playing sports for as long as I can remember. I wish I had learned the impact of my mind on my level of play sooner because I think it would’ve changed my entire career. 

Johann Hari discovered the importance of flow states on his journey as well. The second of six big changes that he has made in his life since his experience with minimal technology has to do with flow. Instead of getting angry at himself for his inability to focus, Hari learned to shift his mindset. He writes, “I have a very different conversation with myself. I ask: What could you do now to get into a flow state, and access your mind’s own ability to focus deeply? (p. 268). Jari figured out that actively seeking a state of flow is more beneficial than self-punishing or being frustrated at your own lack of focus. 

Due to my own struggles during athletics during the spring of my Junior year of college, I started seeing a sports psychologist. My anxieties surrounding playing lacrosse and life, in general, had made it nearly impossible for me to enter a state of flow. When I was on the field during games I was so far removed from my own mind that I felt like I was watching myself play from the sideline. Yet, during practices, I was easily able to transition in and out of states of flow between drills. On game day, I was a different person. Not only did this take a toll on me emotionally, but by not being able to play in a flow state, I was significantly impacting my on-the-field product. Eventually, with the work I did over the summer, I was able to improve my mindset and perspective and had a strong senior season. 

I can’t help but think without the intervention of the sports psychologist in my life, things would’ve gotten much worse. The presence of sports psychologists at the division one level has significantly increased in the past five years. According to the research, my situation seems to be a very common one. The conclusion of the research is focused on the perceived benefits of sports psychologists. “In addition, respondents rated the benefits of performance-related services (e.g., improving focus, managing emotions during competition) higher than those of life-related services (e.g., preventing burnout, increasing enjoyment).” (Wrisberg, Craig, et al.). For myself, the people in the study, and likely many others, the struggle with our mental health does not always lie in the complexity and pressures of life, but it is with our cognition and ability to focus. Not being able to transition to different mindsets is damaging. The large increase in sports psychologists makes sense based on Hari’s book. The increase of psychologists is not because people are getting “softer” and “life is too hard” but because it is harder than ever to focus and transition your mind. For those who take advantage of the service of sports psychologists, they are giving themselves a great advantage. I look forward to exploring more of this research for the paper project. 

This week, I wanted to track my conscious and unconscious urges to use Instagram and TikTok. I deleted both apps from my phone on Monday morning. To track my behavior every time that I tried to locate the app or felt my thumb hovering over the app’s old location I recorded it in the Notes app on my phone. Outside of Snapchat, those are the two applications that I use most, so I knew I was going to have strong urges throughout the week. 

Self-reporting data is certainly challenging and comes with a lot of bias. One element that helped me a lot in regard to recording my data for TikTok is that the app is located on the last page of my home screen surrounded by apps that I rarely use. This made it so that every time I went to access the app it became immediately apparent that I tried to do so, and I would record it. For Instagram, however, it was much more challenging because that app is normally located on the home screen that I use the most. This made it so that it wasn’t always in the front of my mind to record the data. Due to this, the number of times I tried to access Instagram according to the data I reported was much lower than TikTok. 

I tried to go on the TikTok app sixty times this week and the Instagram app thirty-three times. Going into the week I predicted that throughout the week I would learn through repetition that the apps are no longer on my phone, and I slowly stop trying to access them. Generally, numbers did slowly fall throughout the week, but there remained a consistency to try and access them.

What I noticed is that when I tried to access the apps most were commonly tied to a time of day. At night before I fall asleep, when I wake up in the morning, at lunchtime, and when I get off work are the times when I want to access the deleted apps most. A common thread between those times is that they are all what I’d call ‘transitional’ periods throughout the day. At those times, there isn’t necessarily a specific task at hand to be completed and time can be taken to decompress or prepare for what’s next. Considering there is no obligation or requirement to be using those apps, to be reaching for them almost always during transitional periods is definitely damaging. Certainly, I could be doing things that are more productive, but I could also be using the short periods of downtime to self-reflect, think about the future, or whatever I want for that matter. Instead, choose to spend it mindlessly scrolling through my feeds. In “Stolen Focus”, Hari sums up the philosophy of a man he meets in Russia as “You can only find your starlight and your daylight if you have sustained periods of reflection, mind-wandering, and deep thought.” (p. 266). What this means is that you cannot follow your dreams and long-term goals if you do not reflect and spend time thinking freely. Additionally, he discerns that you won’t be able to know what those dreams and goals are if you don’t allow yourself to self-reflect and think freely. I agree with this philosophy and I believe that by choosing to spend the majority of my transitional time scrolling I am damaging my future. 

Reading the title, “I Have Forgotten How to Read” is a comforting feeling. It is comforting because I have always felt I have never been a good reader. This is a well-documented truth. I never liked reading. At a young age, learning how to read, I was always significantly more focused on pictures than words, which is a normal relationship for young kids to have with reading. However, that never seemed to change. My brothers and family loved reading and whenever I had to sit down at the book it was just torture unless I was looking at pictures. In middle school, I finally reached an age where I was able to recognize that my reading ability was not the same as those around me. I was smart enough to get what I needed out of readings to do well in school. But it was always just words on a piece of paper to me. There was never any imagination, excitement, or even curiosity. However, I still only considered reading as something that I disliked. Then at the age of 18, it all finally made sense. I was diagnosed with dyslexia. With this information, my disliking turned into more of a challenge, it went from something that I avoided to something I put more focus into. Unfortunately, my relationship with reading has never reached a point where I do it for leisure. It is still challenging enough for me that I think of it as a task rather than something for enjoyment. 

What Michael Harris has done with “I Have Forgotten How to Read” offers a very similar message to Hari’s “Stolen Focus. Focus and reading are both nearly innate skills possessed by human beings and it’s argued that functionality is being sacrificed by the evolution of society. My own stories and challenges with reading seem to not matter in the eyes of Harris and Hari because the genetic aspects of my cognition would still be under the same societal and media-driven impacts as everyone else. The negative impacts that have been observed with focus and reading skills have uncontrollable reach and consistent impact. It is impossible to hide from and impacts all.